Psychology: Trauma in Infants Fixed feeding routines & the Application of Force  © John Latter 1999

c) Trauma in Infants

    i) "Hands Off"

    ii) "Hands On"

    iii) Self-fulfilling Prophecies

     Violent assaults that happen behind closed doors and occasionally make the headlines probably make up only a small percentage of the number of children who are traumatised. Here are additional ways they can be harmed without parents being aware of having any responsibility.

i) “Hands Off”: Fixed Feeding Routines

     A classic way of traumatising a baby without touching it is to adopt a fixed feeding routine such as that advocated by Truby King some time ago. Let`s imagine a situation where this scheme has been adopted and then look at it from both the parents and baby`s point of view. We can assume the parents love their baby and will do nothing to harm it, indeed they have gone to the trouble of buying a book whose author is an acknowledged expert so their intentions are beyond reproach.

     It`s 3pm. on any day at all, the baby was fed at 1pm. and the next scheduled feeding time is at 5 o`clock. Unaccountably the baby has begun to cry because it`s hungry. The parents may recognise the cry as being one of hunger or maybe not, it doesn`t really matter because with the baby`s best interests at heart they won`t be feeding it until the recommended amount of time has elapsed.

    They may become distressed at the crying and pick the baby up to give comfort or to see if there`s another reason for it being upset. Perhaps the continual crying makes them wish that 5 o`clock will come quickly so that they can feed the baby and have some peace.

    The parents could even start to weaken in their resolve to follow the expert`s advice but then admonish themselves for such selfishness. “After all”, they may say to one another, “It`s not how we feel that`s important, it`s what`s best for our baby that counts”.

   They can reassure themselves with this knowledge, confident again that they are doing the right thing. The natural impulses that caused the transitory doubts have been quashed but won`t 5 o`clock ever come?.

   More imagination: The talk of feeding has made the husband aware that he too is hungry, on being told that dinner will be at the usual time he pushes the feeling of hunger aside and distracts himself by watching television until it`s time to eat. The possibility that he may not be fed never enters his mind.

   Meanwhile his wife puts the baby back in the cot and begins to prepare dinner, still reacting fretfully to the crying as she does so. Abruptly the crying stops, and mainly in relief but with a twinge of concern, she walks over and looks into the cot. Lying there with open eyes the baby appears to be calming down and so she whispers some terms of endearment before returning to her task. Finally 5 o`clock comes and the baby is fed, both parents feeling pleasure in at last being able to fulfil it`s needs.

   The baby is a naturally integrated organism whose new brain neural connections are only in the process of forming. It lives entirely in the present and responds to each external and internal stimulus as they occur. The feeling of hunger is a total experience which it cannot suppress, or distract itself from, and so naturally it cries.

    Previous feeding times and their regularity are not part of the present moment and nor can the baby have any awareness of being fed sometime in a future it has no concept of. The crying intensifies as the hunger pangs deepen but unfortunately they do not reach a plateau that could leave the baby with an endurable level of distress.

   Instead the natural organism of the baby continues responding to the unending moment, intense hunger becomes tinged with the possibility of starvation that changes the cry to one of anger. Natural behaviour, all that the baby has, is not bringing the corresponding natural response it should.

   As the situation becomes more life-threatening the degree of anger expressed in the cry grows until the baby`s natural capacity is exceeded and trauma occurs. The anger disappears and the baby quietens.

ii) “Hands On”

    The application of force in a direction other to that in which a baby or toddler is moving can, within only a few seconds, cause trauma. If, as an example, a tentative attempt is made to remove a small object from the grasp of a baby the natural strength shown in resisting such a move can be surprising.

    Because the motivation is well intentioned, perhaps the object is being held upside down for example, additional surprise may be caused by the apparent rejection of help. Of course the baby is neither resisting or rejecting, these possible interpretations of it`s behaviour would only be self-centered observations.

    The interest shown in any such object may stem from the internal experience of holding it as much as from any visual content. If the curiosity is strong enough then any attempt to disrupt the continuity of the present moment will be averted by moving the object away from the intruder`s grasp irrespective of who they are or their intent.

   An indication not only of the baby`s developing capability for an independent life but also of the nature of it`s response to unwanted physical contact. The baby`s natural strength is it`s “Irresistible Force” that can respond in proportion to the degree of intrusion upon it`s physical being before decreasing as a return to a preferred state is achieved.

   What happens when this “irresistible force” meets the “immovable object” of an adult`s greater strength?.

       Imagine: A short time ago a parent has weighed up all the things that had to be done before they could go shopping and then decided to catch a bus at a particular time. From the time of making the decision, and until it`s fulfillment, any unexpected factors can be tolerated but only to a degree that doesn`t mean abandonment of the planned course of action. There are 10 minutes to go before the bus leaves and everything has been done except to quickly dress the baby and grab the shopping bag on the way out.

    The baby has no awareness of any of this and lays on it`s back wriggling with pleasure both at being alive and at sharing this moment with it`s parent. Arms and legs are moving all over the place as the parent tries to put an arm into a coatsleeve but the baby won`t keep still, in fact the fleeting contact only seems to increase it`s responses.

   The parent`s initial amusement begins to fade as time passes and he or she sit back to release a sigh of frustration before leaning forward to try again. If this bus is missed then catching the next one won`t leave enough time to do the shopping before meeting a friend for lunch. With the goal almost in sight the parent is unwilling to consider any change of plan now, not after everything else has gone so smoothly.

   The self-induced pressure mounts until all the parent can think of is that time is ticking away and nothing is being achieved. It`s almost the baby`s fault that things are going wrong. In a moment born of frustration they grab the baby`s arm and force it into the coatsleeve knowing this is the only way the schedule can be kept and by concentrating on this thought they are able to keep at bay any greater realisation of their action. It needed to be done. The baby`s sudden acquiescense to being dressed is met with relief and they catch the bus with a minute or two to spare.

    The baby`s limbs had been moving in co-ordinated abandon, if an arm had been caught in the opening to a coatsleeve then there would have been time to react naturally to it`s presense which would have resulted in a lessening of activity. The sudden pressure applied to move the limb in an unnatural direction would be incomprehensible to the organism of the baby if there wasn`t time or capability for a natural response.

   Instinctively the baby would use all it`s strength, and then anger, in trying to maintain the integrity of it`s Being. As the violation progressed these would be exceeded by the parent`s greater physical strength and trauma would occur.

   A similar result can be achieved in a toddler whose head is forced around to face a parent who is admonishing it. The toddler has a natural right to be itself and look anywhere it wants to. The application of force is controlled violence that is often rationalised.