Psychology: Trauma in Infants    Self-fulfilling Prophecies © John Latter 99

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iii) Self-fulfilling Prophecies: "Crying for attention" and "Being naughty"

  Crying for attention: "Sometimes people develope internalised expectations of how their baby will be that makes subsequent adjustment to it`s independent reality difficult to achieve”. If this statement has any validity, then because the baby has no similar expectation or equivalent adjustment to make, it immediately identifies where a potential source of problems may lie and also indicates who is the most vulnerable to such problems.

    The baby`s natural right to life is equal to that of it`s parents and not less so simply because it can`t feed & clothe itself, talk, earn money etc. etc..

    The phrase “crying for attention” assumes a greater significance when the tone of voice with which it is said indicates the projection of a negative capability onto a baby. This situation can be further identified because along with the tone comes the ability to feel complete justification, when convenient, in ignoring a baby`s cries irrespective of their cause. If parents have adopted this attitude and a baby is crying because of hunger, then as described in the “Hands Off” section, the potential for trauma is real.

   Once a baby is traumatised, and with little ability to distract itself from interaction with the surface of the wound, being picked up provides an external diversion for it`s consciousness to focus upon. The parents, noticing how often the baby quietens when they pick it up, feel satisfaction at how right they are but do not realise they have fulfilled a Self-fulfilling Prophecy.

   Any pre-determined rigid strategy for dealing with crying is inappropriate to a baby living in the present moment, not least because a baby can cry for unknowable reasons as it developes.

   Parents appear to project this negative capability onto their baby because of their need for self-preservation. What happens, for example, if the parents are unknowingly bearing childhood trauma of their own?. Though the nature of trauma is looked at more closely in another section there are one or two characteristics that are relevant here.

    No matter how well-adjusted a person is, or how well they function in Society, there is always a potential for internal conflict when unforseen realities affect their lives. The opening statement is unambiguous in it`s description of parents who fit this category and the degree to which they will deal with repressed feelings, when responding to their baby, will vary from person to person.

     Consider one of the “better” instances: The repertoire of solutions to a baby`s cries can be easily exhausted leaving parents with an awareness of ultimate responsibility but at a loss at what to do next. Accustomed to using their reason to solve problems they can forget they are dealing with someone who knows no reason. It is at moments like these, that by searching internally for a new solution, repressed feelings can be released.

   The onset of the experience can be the beginning of a sense of failure and the parent, having been here before but under different circumstances, only now remembers that these feelings are so disorientating and potentially overwhelming that they have to be quickly put away and forgotten about all over again. The process requires a conscious decision to be made intended to prevent any future resurgence.

     Now when their baby cries the parents can, when all else fails, fall back on the attitude that it is “only wanting attention”, which having been caught off-guard once, forms part of the barrier between their repressed feelings and their consciousness. The parents perception now is that if their Baby can make them feel “bad” then obviously it must have a capacity for “badness”.

    This is one of the many ways the circle that ensures trauma is passed from generation to generation can be perpetuated.

 Being naughty: