Trophy Wife

Synopsis: As a Christian man, if you desire the wife of noble character that Proverbs 31 describes – the truest kind of trophy wife, not because of her physical beauty and charming personality, but because of her godly virtues – then work on growing as a man of character. She will grow in response to the growth in godliness she sees in you. But even if she doesn’t, you are accountable to God to be that kind of man anyway.

Moments With God // Proverbs 31:10

Most red-blooded American men want a trophy wife. And every man deserves one! Oh, not the kind you may be conjuring up in your mind right now—the kind hot babe Hollywood has invented—with the aid of cosmetic surgeons, make-up artists, and photoshop, of course.

The one I am referring to is the kind of woman Proverbs 31 talks about. She is a trophy gal not because she has a hot bod, but a holy character. Guys, that is a longer-lasting and infinitely more rewarding kind of woman than the carefully coiffed and cosmetically crafted woman our sensual and selfish culture promotes. The culture-built woman’s looks have a shelf life of only so long, and while you are enjoying her looks, if she doesn’t have a godly character to sustain her, those looks probably won’t be that pretty after all!

If you have a woman of noble character, like me, you are a blessed man indeed. I am doubly blessed with a woman of both beauty and grace. If you are looking for a trophy wife, take my advice: Set your sites on noble character above all else. As Proverbs 31:30 says,

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

Now if the wife you have, in your opinion, is not a Proverbs 31 woman, here is what I would suggest: Begin to treat her as if she were, and watch what God will do. And as he is working on her, be the man of noble character she deserves.

And if you are in a serious dating relationship, make sure your soon-to-be trophy wife will have a sugar daddy husband in you. Not the kind you are thinking, but the kind the Bible calls you to be: a man of pure and noble character himself. What kind of husband is that?

• He offers her a character that is morally pure: “your name [which represents character] is like perfume poured out [refined from all impurity].” (Song of Songs 1:3)
• He desires to know her, talk to her, and listen to her: “Husband, dwell with your wife with understanding way.” (1 Pet 3:7 NKJV)
• He refuses to control and pressure her into what he wants her to be: “Honor her, delight in her.” (1 Pet 3:7, Message)
• He serves and sacrifices for her: “Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting.” (Ephesians 5:23, Message)
• He loves her just as Christ loved his bride, the church: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church.” (Eph 5:23, NIV)

As a husband, if you will work on growing in those areas, your wife’s noble character will grow in response to the growth she sees in you. Even if she doesn’t, you are accountable to be that kind of man anyway.

And if you are not yet married, work on being that kind of man. And if you will do that, you will not be able to keep the ladies away—the right kind of ladies!