No comments yet.
Close this window
1 – 0 of 0
[Image] It's officially summer.
Ask me how I know.
It's not because of the higher than high temps.
North Carolina has had those for months now.
And it's not that big ole bright ball in the sky.
That thing comes and goes as it pleases.
But it's time to pack.
It's time to get my daughter all set up for her trip to her grandparents.
She heads up to see them for a huge chunk of the summer.
And this summer - this year -
three years after her very first time north without me?
I won't see her for three consecutive weeks.
Yes.
I know.
For many that is absolutely nothing.
For many that seems like freedom.
And in the past it has - just a little bit.
But this year is different.
This year it's just me.
Me. Here. Without her.
Me. Here. Finding my way.
It may be an important window of time.
The first time in months - save for my recent trip - that I'll be able to pause my worry about her.
Not in the way you might think.
My anxiety is fierce and always functions.
As a parent you always worry about your child.
This will be no different.
But maybe for three weeks I'll put myself first.
Maybe I'll find out what it's like to sleep in a bed alone.
Maybe I'll find out what it's like to cry without worrying what she's thinking.
Maybe I'll find out how to be myself again.
I know.
Three weeks isn't a lot of time.
It's not enough time to recreate myself.
But it's enough time to figure out more of
the firsts.
It's enough time to do that spring cleaning and purging that needs to be done.
Those bags filled with clothes were just scratching the surface.
I have so much more to do.
To rid this house of.
To rid myself of.
To help me find myself again.
Because
it's so so very different now.
posted by Andrea at
1:34 PM
on Jun 29, 2017
Leave your comment
Comments are like air to a writer.
So please - say something - help me BREATHE!
You can use some HTML tags, such as
<b>, <i>, <a>
Comment moderation has been enabled. All comments must be approved by the blog author.
Choose an identity
Google Account
You will be asked to sign in after submitting your comment.
Name/URL
Comment with your Google account if you’d like to be able to manage your comments in the future. If you comment anonymously, you won’t be able to edit or delete your comment.
Learn more
Name
URL
Anonymous
Comment with your Google account if you’d like to be able to manage your comments in the future. If you comment anonymously, you won’t be able to edit or delete your comment.
Learn more
No comments yet.
Close this window