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What Makes An Elf Build Toys EP

by Angry Snowmans

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1.
I'm dreaming And celebrating I'm wishing On a mission Treetops glisten Children listen Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs! Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs! Sleigh Bells In the Snow now palm trees sway Singing Yuletide bringing Greetings to you Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs! Bing Crosby wrote festive Christmas songs!
2.
Naughty children suck it's easy to see their parents were jerks for leavin’ them be didn’t teach ‘em any manners or any of it I say give ‘em lumps of coal but they don’t deserve shit Santa Claus is just sayin’ nope to these evil sons of bitches who never had a hope but because they’re never jolly their life is pretty weak an ugly little bastard with no presents by the tree Naughty Children Suck Naughty Children Suck
3.
My wife says that I gotta take the tree down She says I’m the worst If I don’t get that thing outta here She’s gonna go berserk (cuz) I’m lazy and it’s March It’s brown and it’s shedding She’s going BERESRK! I see the decorations and The tinsel and lights On a stick that’s brown and grey Needles on the carpet is where they lay (cuz) I’m lazy and it’s March It’s brown and it’s shedding She’s going BERESRK! I won’t apologize For letting the tree die You see that Spring has come Gonna leave the tree as long as I can (cuz) I’m lazy and it’s March It’s brown and it’s shedding She’s going BERESRK! Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! Lazy! I don’t care if it’s fuckin’ dead I don’t care if it’s fuckin’ spring I’m so sick of Christmas time I just wanna scream… WHY?
4.
Christmas spirit is dying And No one’s realizing It’s all about love and having some fun Christmas Spirit is dying They’re trying to commercialize it We got a problem son, Something’s gotta be done With the Elves And the Reindeer And the big fat guy who brings out all the presents All got one thing in common They don’t want anyone to go shop in a mall
5.
Sleigh Ride 01:00
Sleigh Ride – sugar plums in my head Sleigh Ride - you're tucked into bed Sleigh Ride - it's a yearly flight Sleigh Ride – on Christmas night There's some coal, there's some coal in your sock Shouldn’ta been naughty from the start Stickin' bows, I'm writing tags Got all the presents in a fur lined bag I need to talk to Santa - to look inside my head Every time I build a toy – I’d rather wind up dead I see my life - in visions dental health my life is North Pole hell - there's no escape There's some coal, there's some coal in your sock Shouldn’ta been naughty from the start Sleigh Ride – sugar plums in my head Sleigh Ride - you're tucked into bed Sleigh Ride - it's a yearly flight Sleigh Ride
6.
Every Christmas Eve the chimney going down The kids are all naughty, you still come to town You don`t feed the deer, you don`t fix the sled And all the elves need shrinks cuz their screwed in the head Oh Santa Claus What’s wrong with you You better wake up Now what you gonna do The big companies are milking us dry The Christmas spirit is soon gonna die And at the North Pole they’ll never be free They slave in the workshops to put the stuff beneath the tree Oh Santa Claus What’s wrong with you You better wake up Now what you gonna do And all of these children want a lot of useless toys You’re so fucking jolly spoiling all the girls and boys You don`t feed the deer, you don`t fix the sled And all the elves need shrinks cuz their screwed in the head Oh Santa Claus What’s wrong with you You better wake up Now what you gonna do White Christmas

about

This year, the Elves Of The North Pole decided to get down and dirty blasting this EP of rippers out live off the floor, deep in the heart of Fernwood.

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released December 9, 2015

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Angry Snowmans Victoria, British Columbia

Disgruntled, displaced Elves of the North Pole who are telling the world about Santa's abusive practices by playing classic punk rock songs. Started in 2008, there is no end in sight. Grab an eggnog and get your ass under that mistletoe! Ho-Ho-Ho- Let's Go! ... more

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