The Love Doctor

Dear Love Doctor,

My husband has been having an affair. Bad news! What makes it worse is it isn’t with another girl. It is with a guy. I heard about it thru a friend. She said to me one day, “as your best friend I need to tell you something about your boyfriend.” I assumed it was something serious, but I was totally unprepared for this news. I don’t feel comfortable having sex with him whole he sleeps with some guy. I wonder if this is the only guy. A few times we talked about a gay couple we know and he just says, “whatever!” I think you are going to tell me to confront him, I don’t know if I can do that. Please give me some advice, i am really struggling with this issue. I think he may be gay. I feel it may be a deal-breaker in my marriage.

Signed,

Worried about my man

Dear Worried,

Darn tootin you need to confront him. “May be gay????” WTF lady! There ain’t no ‘mays’ about it. He is either gay or bisexual. If he is gay then your marriage is over. If he’s bi, then you will have to decide if you want to share him with another man. You never said how much sex you have, but if it isn’t weekly or so then I’m afraid he is most likely gay. Your marriage was doomed from the start. Your husband is what is called ‘in the closet’. He is struggling with his sexual identity and based on his comments about the gay couple, he was likely not pleased to discover this. There is protection while in the closet. Gay men CANNOT stay in the closet, it will eventually make him prone to depression and maybe thoughts on ending his life. This is serious business and you need to handle it smartly. You do need to confront him, make it at home and with no distractions. Try not to be mad or accusing. Easy to say, hard to do! After all, he married you under a sort of false pretenses. You didn’t say how long you were married, but if it’s over a year or you have children, you will need to talk divorce. If your husband won’t own up to it, then you must confront him with the news your friend mentioned. This will not be an easy conversation for either of you, but is one you need to have. Good luck!


Hope this helps,

The Love Doctor

--Send your questions about love to "The Love Doctor" directly from 'OZ' - The 'Other' Side of the Rainbow! I have added an email link that goes direct to The Love Doctor - this will enable quicker responses from him. You can do this by clicking on his picture in the sidebar and put your question in the email. This will ensure that The Love Doctor gets your question. The Love Doctor forwards his replies to me for posting consideration. Note: Due to the high volume of letters that The Love Doctor receives, not all letters will be posted on 'OZ' - but the Love Doctor will reply to every email. (so he says)