Unsettling In

Multiple Sclerosis gets a new address

My plan was to collect adventures from my recent move, exaggerate them slightly, add MS to the mix and put them all into one cohesive and humorous blog with a bit of a moral at the end. 

That’s what I do.

But the past month didn’t fall into that plan.  There wasn’t a link I could find that would fit into my usual blog format.  Instead, what transpired was a bunch of random tidbits.  Short of letting whatever humor I can find go by the wayside, I decided to just throw them all into this post and see what happens. 

Do with them what you will. 

Think of this as special post, a holiday or anniversary episode of your favorite sitcom for example.  You know, where they do something different and it annoys you, but you still watch it anyway. 

And, if the no moral of the story thing is a problem, just fall back on my standard moral, giggles are good for you! 

They must be because somehow I survived the move, school vacation, stress and two nor’easters with my sanity somewhat intact.

If your move coincides with a huge game where it’s practically un- American not to stuff yourself, it’s ok to stray from your healthy eating plan.

For about 6-8 weeks.

At least.

(So what if you don’t care about football- we’re talking patriotism here.)

If the grocery store in the city you moved to is offering a 2 for $7 sale on Ben and Jerry’s pints, add another week to the above.  Welcome to the neighborhood.

You know you might have a problem when your 7 year old nephew comes to visit and, after checking out your pantry, sees a small basket on the table and declares “oh, this is where you put the healthy stuff.”

You know you might have an even bigger problem when you run out of room in said pantry and find not so healthy stuff creeping into the same basket.  (Specifically, coconut cookies. Since coconut is a fruit it’s only a small, bigger problem.)

Previously, the same nephew saw me two days in a row- one day where I dressed up, put on makeup and tried to style my hair.  The next day he saw me super casual where I had barely even changed out of my pajamas.  On that day he said, “Auntie, you know when you put that brown stuff under your eyes?  It’s looks pretty.”

By brown stuff I hope he meant makeup and geez, style advice from a 7-year-old?

Too bad I didn’t take that advice on another foray into the same grocery store.  It’s 45 minutes from where I grew up.  Who could I possibly know whilst in my beyond casual, straight from unpacking, overwhelmed attire?  Who would guess that I would bump into an old high school crush, still wicked good looking and as far as I know, not married?  Where the hell is the cosmetics aisle in this store????

Not to be outdone, my nephew’s little brother, all five years of him, chose to declare- “Your breath is really stinky.”  I took comfort that he said this after spending the night and he had just woken me up.  So perhaps I can take a pass on that one?  How proud am I that these precious, sweet little darlings have no problem speaking their minds.

Multiple Sclerosis likes to spend my money.  That’s why, even though my new apartment is much smaller than the old and has no space for anything extra at all, MS still convinced me to drive to the mall and buy a second, super small microwave oven when I already had a fully functioning one that fit quite nicely into my kitchen.

Here’s how it happened-

My microwave stopped working.  I went to re-heat my tea and nothing- no radio waves of any kind.   It must be broken.

I’m not stupid- I knew to test the outlet.  I tested it with the nearby toaster oven and it worked.  Hence, the microwave was broken.  What was I supposed to do with my tea?  It was just sitting there, getting colder and colder by the minute.

I did what a smart, wealthy person does even though I’m neither smart nor wealthy. I drove to the mall and bought a new one.  I came home and tried to get the new microwave out of its packaging.  But my tired arms had trouble and (since I really wanted my half cup of tea by then,) I had to rip the box and break all the Styrofoam into tiny pieces to get the new oven out.  I plugged it in, turned it on and that one was broken too!

I scratched my head.

I used the toaster oven to try the outlet again.  I tried to put my tea into the toaster oven only to discover that while the ticker was ticking away, the toaster wasn’t heating up.  Turns out, the ticker on a toaster oven doesn’t need electricity and hence my real problem was a dead outlet.

I now had two functioning microwaves, one functioning toaster, one bad outlet, a cold beverage and a ton of new apartment frustration combined with an MS compulsion to run to the store on a whim for something I didn’t need and couldn’t afford.  And, to make matters worse, I also had shredded pieces of Stryofoam all over my new kitchen and no one I knew interested in the microwave because it’s super tiny and somewhat useless.

Here’s one for my fellow germ-a-phobes.  The moving company sent three young movers and all were pleasant and did a great job.  BUT, while at my old apartment one excused himself to use my bathroom and was in there for a really, really long time.  Which kind of freaked me out but hey I was moving so who cares.  I wouldn’t need to use that bathroom again.

We got to my new apartment and another mover needed to use my professionally cleaned bathroom there.  As did my friend who was helping me.  She’s a friend so she’s ok.  And the second mover was in and out, but really?  Two other people used my new bathroom before I did- how fair is that?

Finally, I was proud of how I braved the first nor’easter.  No power for 28 hours?  Piece of cake for a New England girl.  My biggest storm stress was whether or not I’d have power before my friend’s big art opening.  I just couldn’t go two days without a shower and then show up an art shindig-gross.

Thing was, I probably could have showered as I never lost hot water.  I have gas heat now so I guess it makes sense except I lost heat.  How could I lose gas heat but not hot water?

Worry over the shower thing and this ridiculous obsession on the heat/water issue kept me busy throughout those dark hours.

That plan had been to use the storm to rest.

Yea, right!

Who am I kidding?

MS had its own plans and they definitely didn’t include resting.  So, I guess there is a moral to these stories after all.

Man plans, MS laughs…