Yesterday and today I’ve had a pretty badass case of the Back-To-Reality Blues. Coming off a big trip to be home for a day and leave again for a weekend, and then return to the real world after that, I wasn’t prepared for the low lows of (albeit trivial) day to day life. Back in the day, whenever I was having a bad/weird/emotional day, I would just work it out on my blog. But my blog and I have been having an identity crisis of sorts for the past few years and she’s no longer the first I turn to for “help”. (Sorry blog.) 

My recent trip to Italy was a personal experiment in pretending to be normal. I wanted to see if I could take a pure vacation. This is something I almost never do. Don’t get me wrong, I have wild adventures and I’m no workaholic bore, but I rarely, if ever, zone out into the great wide world with no creative agenda. I’m almost always working on a project or researching some angle of inspiration, gathering visual data and collecting physical and emotional reference points for my creative work. Last summer I worked on 2 creative projects in Italy, I’ve painted collections in Arkansas, Chicago, Los Angeles and across the great American South, not to mention painting in hotel rooms and makeshift studios across the midwest during my gypsy artist days, plus inspirational trips to South Africa, Paris, Berlin, and more. But this trip was all about NOT being an artist. I tried. I did pretty well. No sketching, no museums, and I only journaled twice (once on the way there and once on the way home). Okay, so I took pictures, but only with my iPhone.

I agree, what’s the point? you ask. Really, it was just to give it a try. While it worked in the moment, the real struggle has turned out to be the aftermath. Returning to face a painting in progress in the studio has felt much like exercising some muscles that have been cozily inactive. There’s an inertia to being non-productive on your creative work. The sleeping giant is so damn cranky. And MY what a giant. 

Conclusion: I am capable of taking a vacation. I am not “normal." 

But I won’t let it get me down…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GKJ82TZrdEc

"On some dark nights, when the pain of existence and cosmic meaninglessness tear at our soul, we will find ourselves crying bitter tears. Then we dry our eyes and begin again.” - “The Van Gogh Blues” by Eric Maisel

first sleep, then begin again,
Rebecca

• Tags
• The Van Gogh Blues
• travel
• creativity